The Weekly Wash Up - AFL Round 2 Review


Written by Matt Smith (@SmanSports) on 03 April 2017   

Dear AFL,

Please stop scheduling Richmond on a Thursday or Friday night, so we have to watch them in primetime. Play them on a Sunday afternoon when we have better things to do like pruning our bonsai’s.

Regards,

Hashtag Footy Fans

The Tigers won their second straight game beating the Pies by 19 points. Richmond supporters have already canceled their plans for September. Unfortunately for them, the rest of us know they will finish ninth again.

Collingwood’s season is now over. In recognition of this, Joffa will wear his gold jacket at the beginning of next week's game. The Pies kicked more points than Dustin Martin had ‘don't-argues’ and Nathan Buckley will be kicking his players behinds this week at training.

The Bulldogs unfurled their Premiership flag then showed their Grand Final win over the Swans was no fluke winning by 23 points. It is a joke that the Dogs had to wait until the second week of the season to do so. This should be done prior to the first game of the season. This contest was the game of the year, although some dodgy umpiring decisions will be the talking point. Lance Franklin nearly won the game for the Swans off his own boot in the last quarter, but the Dogs have a unique combination of class and toughness which prevailed.

Swans midfielder, Dan Hannebery, is set to return to drinking alcohol and partying to find the form that made him one of the better midfielders in the competition over the past couple of years.

The Crows confirmed their Premiership favouritism, with a 24 point come-from-behind win against the Hawks. Josh Jenkins left the game early then went to hospital with broken ribs, only to be cleared of damage. As everyone expected David Mackay was the match winner with three goals.

Paul Puopolo took mark of the year and was also awarded the worst free kick in the history of football during the third quarter. It was great to see #FreeKickHawthorn back trending on social media.

The Giants smashed the Suns by 102 points. Jeremy Cameron and Toby Greene outscoring the Suns on their own. It is quite staggering that the AFL would give all those draft concessions to the Giants, but leave the Suns to fend for themselves. The Suns will now look to recruit NRL players, as the club has been on a steady decline since Karmichael Hunt retired from the sport in 2014.

Football in Queensland is in disarray as the Lions then lost to the Bombers by 27 points. This isn’t really ideal for a league that is trying to establish itself in a non-AFL market. Maybe the AFL need to send a struggling Melbourne-based club up north for amalgamation to manufacture a football powerhouse.

Orazio Fantasia kicked a career-high five goals in Brent Stanton 250th game. Stanton was relieved the game was being played outside of Victoria, so the Bomber’s supporters couldn’t boo him every time he touched the ball.

In the West, the Eagles got out of jail - the same can't be said for Ben Cousins - when the Saints led by as much as 25 points and had five more scoring shots, yet lost by 19 points. It's Shuey's all-round in Dan Ricciardo's home town of Perth. Luke in particular having 30 touches, 11 tackles and two goals.

The Saints are now 0-2 and will be without Jack Steven for approximately four weeks with a punctured lung.

The Kangaroos snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against the Cats at Etihad Stadium. George Horlin-Smith kicked the winning goal to get the Cats over the line by a point. Parents are giving their newborns hyphenated after guys like Horlin-Smith, Sam Powell-Pepper and Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti are making them cool. A draw would have been a fitting result after both sides decided to wear blue and white in defiance of the AFL’s clash guernsey policy. Imagine the uproar if another side chose to wear black and white against Collingwood. The Match Review Panel has given a one week ban to Scott Thompson after an incident that saw Patrick Dangerfield’s face come into forceful contact with Scott Thompson’s foreman.

Speaking of suspensions, Jordan Lewis will miss three games after leaving Patrick Cripps with a broken jaw and Jessy Hogan two games for punching Sam Rowe in the head. The Dees will now enlist anger management therapist, Dr Buddy Rydell, to help cure their issues.

The Demons are now two from two after beating the Blues by 22 points. Victories against St.Kilda and now Carlton will give Melbourne great confidence that they can match it with the best teams in the competition. Opponents will now be preparing for their elite midfield which consists of Dom Tyson, Clayton Oliver, and Christian Salem. We asked Paul Roos how he feels about giving up the coaching gig?

Carlton's on-field performance isn't the only thing that is stinky. The banner writer might need a game or two off too. Can you smell what the Blues are cooking?

The Power’s win against the Swans last week wasn’t just luck as they destroyed the Dockers by 89 points. Fortunately for Freo, they have one of the best defensive coaches in the game, otherwise this margin could have been much worse. Robbie Gray had 30 disposals and six goals. Thankfully he’s not coming out of contract at the end of the season, otherwise we would be hearing about him as a million dollar player too. Speaking of that guy from Richmond, rookie, Sam Powell-Pepper has been watching videos (I’m not sure they have DVDs at Port) of him the way he gives a stiff arm to everyone in his way.

Who would have thought we would see both Melbourne and Richmond in the top four at the same time.

Next Saturday night is a top of the ladder Showdown clash between the Crows and Power.


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